Profundities

☻Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.

☻A lawyer says 'we' won' or 'You' have lost.

☻All computers wait at the sames speed.

☻Real anarchists play chess without kings.

☻Monday is one seventh of your life!

☻When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!

☻Aiming to remain good sports, we park as close as possible near the sports centre.

☻Money ressembles fat... there is plenty of it, but always in the wrong places.

☻No-one loves hard work more than the one who pays for it.

☻Some people live because it is illegal to kill them!

☻Richness has eternal value if we use it to make others happy.

☻Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die...

☻There are days that nothing goes your way, but does it help to complain? No, not a bit. So, stand up to it, list all the points and put your schoulders to the wheel, even worries go away.

☻Learn to live every moment of happiness, are never too busy to receive or give love.

☻We have to make a choice, the truth or the appearances. You can loose yourself if you are never you.

☻The sea consists of water drops, the sand dunes of grains of sand, time of moments, use them with common sense!

☻Today is the day ... It comes only once- ... because tomorrow ...is no longer today. Enjoy life... it is possible ...but do it today ... because today is the day

☻When you yell 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough energy to warm one cup of coffee. ( Niet echt de moeite dus!)

☻You can't walk in the light without causting a shadow

☻Without the rubber tree the whole world would have AIDS

☻If you hit every time the target is too near or too big.

☻The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes

☻The secret of success lies not in doing your own work but in recognizing the right man to do it.

☻People are not afraid of how bad you are, People are afraid of how good you are.

☻Trains never follow the schedule, they follow the rails

☻The one who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, the one who does not ask, remains a fool for ever

☻It is better to know everything of one subject, than to know something of everything.

☻The past becomes longer and longer and the future shorter and shorter, the hope in the future is bigger than the regrets for the past

☻Never drive faster thant you guardian angel can fly !

☻Getting an other boyfriend or husband is like buying a house. You have to improve yourself.

☻When you choose not to make a choice, you do choose because you choose not to choose.

☻Life is hard, learn from the mistakes of others and not of your own mistakes !

☻When you turn you nose 180 degrees, you would drown when it rains

☻Children in the backseat cause accidents... Accidents in the back seat cause children.

☻People wasted a lot of time talking about who came first, the chicken or the egg, but it was surely the cock.

☻Life is hard, but the front of a train is harder...

☻Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!

☻Life is like toilet paper, long and usefull !!!!

☻A fart is nothing more than a lost cough.

☻One day you will find the woman of your life and at that point you will already be married.

☻I only drink to make my wife look prettier.

☻It is weird that my nose is running and my feet smell.

☻Love is blind, ladies' underwear is braille

☻Love based on beauty, dies along with the beauty.

☻Be nice to those who smoke, every sigarette may be their last.

☻Boredom was the other word for a safe and undisturbed life.

☻Do not keep hanging in the past, do not dream of the future, but concentrate on the present.

☻Light is faster than sound. That is why people look intelligent, until you hear them speak.

☻All mushrooms are eatable. But some you can only eat once.

☻Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot.

☻A pessimist is someone who believes that women are frivolous. An optimist is someone who hopes for this.

☻Every good-bye is the birth of a memory

☻Every married man knows why they name hurricanes after women

☻Common sense and a sense of humour are the sames things but at different speeds. A good sense of humor is just common sense that dances.

☻I believe that there is life after death. But I do not think I will live it.

☻There are so many things I have to do, that I should better go to sleep.

☻You may not be too hard on my secretaries. They are sweet and understanding when I arrive at the office after having a tough day at home.

☻Only 17% of all trafic accidents was caused by drunk drivers, so the other 83% was caused by, yes you got it....the sober ones among us!!

☻What do you have in common with your husband ? " We married on the same day."

☻Good advice,whatever happens, make it look like to intend to.

☻Words of a client in an antique shop: do you have anything new ?